Parenting Points for April!
1. BE PROACTIVE: Create your own goals- don't fall victim to the past.
You are not destined to pass on dysfunctional behavior to the next generation. You can decide to act on the basis of your principles and values, not simply to react on the basis of emotion or circumstances. HOW? Be aware of your own life, your behavior, thoughts, feelings, and moods, and observe. Step in and make improvements. Fight against embedded tendencies and change your interaction with family members.
Keep an "emotional bank account" which represents your relationship with another person. Make "deposits" to build trust (being kind, apologizing, keeping promises, forgiving) and "withdrawals" when you do things that destroy trust (criticizing, nagging, blaming). The amount of trust in the account determines how well you can communicate and solve problems with that person. And if affects every relationship in the family.
2. BEGIN WITH THE END: Write a mission statement.
Ask "what kind of family do we want to be?" Condense everyone's input into a written statement. "How do we want to solve problems? By yelling and slamming doors? Or by communicating?"
3. FIRST THINGS FIRST: Schedule family time.
(from 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families) Adults who complain about being too busy spend 10 hours a week watching TV. Schedule a weekly family meeting where you can plan for activities, teach values, and reserve a little time for fun- such as playing a game together or reading a book. Secondly, find a way to spend quality one-on-one time with each member of your family. You will find you have the time in the week for your family, if you check you priorities.
4. THINK WIN/WIN: Find ways for everyone to come out ahead.
Search for ways to solve problems that involve a win for all concerned. If both parties listen to each other's concern, another solution might present itself that would be a win for all.
5. SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND: Listen first, then judge.
To truly influence someone, you must put yourself in his/her shoes. Listen with empathy, not judging, not jumping in to solve the problem or give advice. Simply listen.
6. SYNERGIZE: Tackle problems together.
Come up with a solution that is more than the sum of its parts- better than any individual could have created. TEAM WORK!
7. SHARPEN THE SAW: Continually renew your family spirit.
Nurture physically, socially, mentally, and spiritually. Done as a family: exercising, vacationing, worshipping, reading, and being of service to others strengthens the family.